Just Listening
Veteran’s Heart Georgia invites veterans, their families, and the larger community to come together to listen, learn, and collectively address the wounds of war. When we listen to our veterans and their families we are part of a process focused on setting things right, opening the door for a full return and healing. We share our veterans’ burden by willingly and intentionally holding difficult truths and intense emotion.
We call our meetings Just Listening.
Webster’s dictionary defines “Just” as right and fair, making things right, well deserved, honorable, conscientious. Another definition of ‘Just” is simply, exactly, totally, truly, precisely. “Listening” is defined as hearing with intention, hearing attentively.
How do we listen attentively with intention to set things right, fair and honorable for veterans and their families? Is this enough? Do I know enough? Understandably we worry if what we have to offer will really be helpful.
The good news is we already have at our disposal all we need… listening attentively is a powerful way of connecting with another human being. When we set our intention to be present, to listen in order to learn and understand, we offer a gift that helps break isolation, builds support and community.
We do not need professional training, knowledge or answers. We don’t need to know how to fix it!!
We need only to learn to stay open, receptive and caring. We listen without interrupting the speaker, resisting our impulse to give advice, to try to “make it better”. Allowing the other to be fully heard is a powerful gift to the speaker, and a skill that can be learned and practiced with generosity.
Compassionate healing and justice are at the core of the spiritual aspiration of all faith traditions. Mindful presence is the heart of Buddhist meditation practice, compassionate, non-judgmental healing at the core of Christianity and Tikkun Olam, Repair of the World, is a central intention of Judaism.
Deep listening seeks to see through the masks of fear, indifference, hostility, to the sacredness of each person and their wounds.
The capacity to listen with compassion, empathy, and presence needs to be cultivated. Practice waters the seeds within us and increases our awareness of ourselves and others.
Bare attention and listening is simple but not easy. It can be difficult. Once we set our intention to listen to the suffering of others there are challenges along the path. We hear of terrible suffering, injustice, unspeakable acts, wells of grief and we get uncomfortable. Our discomfort directs us to action. We want to fix it, give advice, minimize or discount what we have heard, judge it or dismiss it. If we are uncomfortable enough we will want to avoid, shut our emotions down, and leave the situation. Others’ stories remind us of our own story…feelings or memories arise …we want to interrupt to tell our story…
In our Just Listening circles we practice mindful presence and compassionate listening. We develop our capacity for empathy. We increase our awareness of our own reactions, judgments and fears, and learn to calm down. We use our breath as an anchor, a place to return our attention when we need to calm down, and get refocused in the present. We learn to speak from our present experience. As we grow in community we find we can stay stable, calm and present . Our circle becomes a huge holding space out of suffering, for joy and connection to grow. We can stay safe but not untouched. Through these practices we grow our ability to simply listen and this simple act goes a long way towards healing
We meet to practice “Just Listening” on the 2nd Sunday of each month. When you sign up for our newsletter (see sidebar on right) you will be sent a reminder prior to the meetings.
